almost-sane's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Psycho So-Long A Special Double Episode Today's special guests are PSYCHO-CREEP and my good friend, VALERIE. Let's give them a round of applause! HOW DO I GET MYSELF INTO THESE MESSES? Anyway, I digress. Two dates later, Psycho is a little obsessed with me. If you could call having the next fifty years of our lives together mapped out obsessed - if not, utterly bizarre. And here's me... RUNNING for the door. MONDAY MORNING Psycho-Creep: Hey stranger!...Remember me? Me: Hi, how r u? Psycho-Creep: Never mind me...whats up with you? Me: How come every time I ask how you are you don't answer me? Psycho-Creep: Haven't heard from you in a while..... Me: I saw you on Saturday! Psycho-Creep: It was a weird meeting... I felt you being very distant. I thought about calling you all weekend...but thought you wanted space or something. Because I will give you the same response... I'm tired and bitchy. Me: It was early, I was tired and hungover- I had a bottle of wine the night before and I like my space. Psycho-Creep: Good to know... Me: Maybe this isn't working after all? Maybe you want too much from me- you're talking about 4 kids and a nanny. And I'm trying to be casual. Psycho-Creep: I'm just joking around...but if thats the way you feel... okay, no problem...nice meeting you. Me: Ok. Psycho-Creep:I don't beg.....you should know better. Psycho-Creep: Read your comment above....where you write this isn�t working. --pause-- Psycho-Creep: Am I supposed to convince you? Me: No, I'm not looking for you to do so. Psycho-Creep: You should know me better than that.... I let my actions speak for itself. If you feel you can find better I would never want you to feel like your settling for less by hanging out with me. Me: I don't think I am "settling for less" by being with you. I think we dove in head first way too fast and I think I got really excited about prospects and romance and whatever else and I dove in.... But truth be told we don't know each other that well (I should know you better than that? I don't...). So here is where you learn I am realizing I moved too fast and should have slowed us down and... what can I do? Me: I am just trying to explain. Psycho-Creep: lovely....great... Me: Maybe I should shutup now before I shove my foot further down my throat. Psycho-Creep: You got your space! And like that - POOF! - gone. And so I forwarded this to my friend Valerie. Val: Well shit, he�s intense. Me: I KNOW. Val: I�ve stopped being surprised by this crap, though. Me: Well that�s nice. Most of it shocks the shit outta me. Val: Can today be official "I Hate Boys" day? Me: OH YES. Val: Trevor's a douche. Me: That�s perfect. Him and Psycho can go bowling. Val: Whatever, right? Me: Did he mention his weekend? Val: yup� Val: His weekend w/ �the girl.� I'm over it. He can have her. He�s still a douche. --pause-- Val: WHY do I get myself caught up w/ such complete fucktards??? Me: You're asking ME? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Val: I know. We are such a TRAIN-WRECK. Val: We should write a book� Me: We should!!! Val: I'm all over it. Me: Title idea: Why WE Rule (and Men Really, Really Suck). Me: OR Me: Why We Rule and Men are DOUCHEBAGS. Val: I like that one. Really packs a punch. Val: How about: "How to make a turd sandwich." Val: OR� Val: "chodes, douche-bags and turd sandwiches: breaking the cycle." Me: LOL Val: Good one, huh? I could do this all day� Val: "LOVE: The REAL Mad-Cow Disease." Me: A Tribute for the Recently Dissed, Dumped and Destroyed. Val: Don't forget "Disillusioned" Me: No shit. Val: Dude, I am BITTER -- More titles! Me: LOL. Val: "Detatchable Penis: not a bad idea" Me: "Why oh WHY do I wish all men would DIE?" See? It rhymes! Val: That's a little intense. Me: Oops. Sorry� Val: It wouldn't go over well w/the young female demographic. Me: �Riddle me this, riddle me that, why won't he like me when I feel fat?� Val: lol Me: Ok, no more rhymes. Val: Seriously, why are they such turds??? Me: Something a bit long but still with a relevant topic: �What to do to his testicles when he treats you like complete ass: A Woman's Guide to Revenge.� Val: Or with humor: �Dude! Where�s my nutsac?� Me: TOO bitter? Val: Hilarious! Me: Damn right. Val: Side note - my boobs are killing me today. Me: �What to do with your boobs when....� Never mind. Val: hahahahaha Me: LOL Val: I hate boys. Val: So do you think Psycho will ever try to contact you again? Me: Nope. Val: He was so bitter! Me: One thing he did say w/in the first 2 minutes of our very first conversation was something about how when a girl shoots him down he's GONE. And he's never lied - I'll give him that. Val: Think he's in the fetal position sobbing right now or what??? Val: And his communication skills are deplorable. Me: LOL Val: Good thing he's a doctor! Me: He speaks 5 languages, he says. Maybe English is #5. Val: Oh, man! Me: Ever get to a point in your day where u just wanna flip everyone off? Val: All the time, my friend. All the time. 10:35 A.M. - 11.16.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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